my journey with children

 I never thought I would feel so strangely emotional about this day—the first day of school for Erica, my oldest daughter. It's a swirl of mixed feelings and emotions. For six years, you’ve struggled with a small child who cried because she didn’t want to go to kindergarten. She was sick countless times, and most of those times she was in your arms. And now, here she is—a school child. It’s not as though the days of sickness are behind us, but it feels like a different phase, as if she’s stepping into a new world, and you’re right there with her, stepping into it too. For years, you wished for the kids to grow, hoping it would get easier. But in this moment, I wished time would stop, and I wished she were little again. Yet it’s just a fleeting moment, and none of us can stop time. But what we can do is live better in the NOW and enjoy it more fully. I embrace this day with open arms—the newness and the unknown that’s ahead—and I’m happy about it! I’m excited to get to know the futu...

Happy Saint Nicholas!! I wish everybody has a nice surprise tomorrow, in shoes, in their lives, in their hearts! Erica wanted her papa to come faster in bed... "what if papa scares Saint Nicholas when he comes and brings gifts? We behave all year long, we were wise and now, papa scares him" 😂 ...something like all the wisdom and nice behaviour spoiled by papa!  The speach one minute before falling asleep!

This is Erica's big first haircut... She was so into putting her long hair into her mouth most of the times. The ends of her hair was almost all the time wet and.... in the end I asked her if she wants her hair shorter.  She said "yes, like Ava" (like her little sister). I don't think she would have liked that short. So I asked a few days in a road if the really would like that and she said yes! We went to the hair salon, she staid like a stone for 30 minutes while her hair was cut and then in the end she smiled and we laughed, when we went out. I think it was more me, who suffered after her long Mowgli hair. We went on with our day, we went to Wannsee, to sunbathe. Later in the evening, when we returned, after washing her hair, she looked long at her face and how she looks with this hairdo and she gave herself a kiss, sayig "I love you Erica".  I like from Louise Hay, the working with the mirror and I have done them with Erica since she exists. ...

ERICA learnt to ride the bike. It made me soooo happy. She was so excited! No, she doesn't know to use the breaks, only to balance on the bike. She is so talent at this. Not other things, if you tell her to throw a ball, she is not that gifted. But roller and bycicle...she loves them!  We all ate a cake to celebrate. At 3 years and 3 weeks old she got it. I don't remember when I learnt, how old was I... But definetely much older When did you learn to bike? 

We thought spring is here and we ordered  new shoes. We received them by post and we went out, to try them out. Then children feet grow so fast. One number in 3 months... Is just Erica? This shoes are Naturino (unpaid ad). I was counseled once by a manufacturer of children shoes, what to pay attention at when buying Erica's shoes.  The sole to be very flexible, to have straight lines, not curves, and to be done from natural materials, as everything goes into the child's skin. Naturino meets all these criteria. And this red also conquers our hearts and eyes.  Since Erica walks, we bought her only Vios (unpaid ad) . It is an Austrian brand who produce very good quality children shoes but something happened and I don't find them anymore on the online stores. Most probably Covid didn't help. instagram

Erica loves to be bare feet and recently we watched a documentary about this, about grounding.   I have never thought how important it is to have at least half an hour a day bare feet.  It is impossible to do this in winter but as spring is here, we can enjoy and fill up ourselves with the earth energy. Do you like to walk bare feet? p.s. this is the documentary: https://www.groundology.co.uk/videos?show=the-earthing-movie

Erica is back to kindergarten. For a few hours, I am only with Ava. It is more silence in the house and she can sleep longer and deeper. Ava laughs a lot and smiles.. very beautiful to see her flourishing from one day to another. Sometimes I don't have time to notice this. I have to pay attention to Erica always, not to do anything to the small one. This focus on both, takes away a lot of energy...

The more I tell her to me more quiet, the louder she is. It is truly terrible sometimes, like they say, terrible 3. And not even 3 yet.  Sometimes my explanations are not enough, are not convincing her. Either her way or the highway.  I feel this starts to happen now, after Ava's birth quiet a lot No reaction, they say...so they will not do it again Good luck with that! Quarantine for me was full of challenges!  How was it for you with children?

I didn't suffer from Corona as much as I suffered from the quarantine with two children for 14 days. We had very mild symptoms and we were lucky.  Erica really wants to play with Ava....but no chance for now.  She needs to be explained and to be told that she needs to wait a few more months. However she calls Ava all the sweet names possible in Romanian and in German and in the same time she finds it extremely funny to scare her. Erica comes on the tip of her feet to Ava, and then she starts to scream. I go crazy... Explanations, theories why not to do this. In the end what it worked out is to scare her in the same manner and to see why is not nice to do this to her smaller sister. 

I have learned this recently from my osteopath, to calm her down, putting her on one side and one hand on her chest and the other on her back. It really works well when she is a bit agitated. Sometimes I sing along "row row row your boat", our favorite children song. How do you calm down your baby ?

Erica was so content to have us home. She missed me a lot but when we entered the door with Ava, she passed by me and went directly to her. She was so curious to see her. She waited 9 months and kissed a belly with bebe inside.  She liked to hold her in the arms and we made many things different than before, just to feel it's totally a special day.  First day at home in a body not so fit with two children. How was your arrival at home after giving birth?

It's getting closer to go home. I am happy!!! Erica, my daughter, couldn't come to see us, only my partner for one hour per day (pandemic rules).  We staid 3 days here in order to have this examination 2 for the newborn babies. This includes also a hearing screening, which was done twice today, while Ava was sleeping.  I kept reading during pregnancy different articles about how to handle with your first child when the second one is born. I had this strong wish not to fail in introducing Ava to Erica, and to start the first weeks with the right foot, to make it as easy as possible for Erica. Today, when I got so close from this moment, Erica meeting her sister and starting a different phase in our family, I started to read again, to search for ideas, experiences of other parents. It felt too much at one point. I got so overwhelmed, my space got narrow. I got so tired, streesed and sad... It feels very hard what will come next. So I close all 15 tabs with articles a...

Too tired after labor! I have birth to my second child/girl this evening at 20:03. It was a long prelabor of more than 12 hours and 2 hours at the end of intense contractions.  I am tired and happy in the same time!  Ava! We were holding her in our arms and still didn't know the exact name. How did you chose your child's name?  instagram

This pregnancy felt 10 times harder than first.   I remember I didn't feel great with my first child, Erica, as well but  I was able to handle most of the discomforts (nausea, headaches, pains) through rest. Just reading on my sofa, taking a nap from time to time during the day, or slowing everything down. Impossible all of these with Erica around now. She started also not to take naps in the afternoon, therefore no break. It's not only this, Erica's energy but the more belly grew, the more clingy she started to be. It feels she gets more and more scared, even though I try to reassure, to present everything with enthusiasm and with love how it will be with the baby inside the house. Most recently she started to say I am only and only hers, those two hands are hers, my head is hers, all of my body is hers. Plus she is a baby again, she wants to be hold in arms like a baby; a great regress she has, that sometimes blocks me.  I had some contractions and I wanted to lie ...

We have long discussions in bed, before sleeping. She tries very hard to speak in German and Romanian. She mixes words from both languages in one sentence, when there is a sentence. My partner speaks mostly German and I speak Romanian with Erica. However, in her own language, which is funny sometimes, she lately constantly tells me the belly occupies her territory,  in bed.   Tomorrow my mother will come to help  us, while I am in labor and in the hospital. She sees my mother very often on video calls but I always translate what she says in German. This time, in some moments, it will be just the two of them. Hope they will make it with body language, when German doesn't help and Romanian is not enough.  To quote Erica about her sister "bebe raus, mama pot tot"  - translation "when bebe comes out, mama can do all"  Are your children speaking the same language as their grandparents? If not, how did they make it?  Instagram

 The chance to play as much as I want, without feeling that I lose my time with important things as an adult, to make so many silly things with Erica is among the reasons that I truly enjoy in being a mother. I  could have done those of course without having my child around but it's not as fun as when you share the laughter and the complicity with her.  The silliest I get the more she likes it. These days we saw in a book with kindergarten and some children have birds noses and we made as well, a few of them. Actually she wants them now almost every day.  In Corona times, I feel that if you are not creative and silly  yourself but also your child...it's impossible to make it through. Whenever Erica gets bored, she starts to pretend that she bakes a cake. I speak about sillyness and happiness, which I admit I sometimes force myself to bring them outside. Erica has a sort of a skin irritation while  I am stressed with the imminent labor. I just wish she gets ...

Her stubbornness, when my energy gets so low in the afternoon and evening, is something I have to deal almost every day. It pushes my patience limits; actually I need to overcome them with every occasion. I try to keep in mind what are the most important things  like food, time of sleep, being kind with others and us. But then are others things that she wants to be done in her way or only on her own, with no ones help. I find it hard to clean the chaos in the last part of the pregnancy. We clean sometimes together, but sometimes it's a definitive NO. But we adults make the same, sometimes we are able to be flexible and make compromises, other times it's "either my way or the highway": ).  I feel one girl inside needs protection, to be careful how I move, not to make too much effort but on the other hand Erica needs also attention, comfort and to be hold in my arms (when actually there are not so many comfortable hugging ways with a huge belly). This evening she strugg...

I have been trying all along to create a bond between my girls. Erica speaks with "bebe" everyday. She kisses the belly, hugs, gives food to the belly and so on. Tells everybody her mother has a big belly with bebe inside. It would be wonderful if they love each other as much as I love my sisters and brother. It's such a unique love and precious; I don't imagine my life without them. With whom could I make my most silliest jokes and have fights that are very fast forgiven by everyone, other then them?  I wonder how it will be Erica when "bebe" is finally outside the belly :)! How would you create this bond even stronger, when the baby is born?