my journey with children

Today I started the day at 4 o'clock with a terrible migraine. No pain killer allowed at breastfeeding was functioning and it got worse. Erica woke up and started to demand her ritual. But I told her that today is an exception, mama is not well and  we go silently in the kitchen, like this we leave Ava to sleep. We eat and go to living room, where we lay down on the sofa and she is allowed to watch cartoons. She wanted "Pettersson and Findus". When we got to the sofa, she told me to put my head on her legs and there I took the photo. She was very kind by telling me she is not happy I am not well but she is happy for the cartoons. These migraines are terrible... since puberty 14-15 years old.  In my pregnancy with Erica they dissapered but with Ava I struggled with them for 9 months and it goes on... Who never had a migraine is hard to explain. I feel my whole body fights with this great pain for hours and when it gets better, I am just tired.

 This week I started the classes of postnatal yoga... I had the first class on Monday morning but today I had  back pain and I repeated it a bit with Ava, some of the exercises. I started the class with Jutta Wohlrab. She is a midwife in Berlin and offers these classes in German and English, online in real time and she fulfills these two conditions of the German insurance (TK - I have) to pay for these classes.  If you prefer to have these classes in English, I recommend Jutta. It's my second time I am doing these classes with her and I guess now, in Corona lockdown ( or the new "normality"), you can be anywhere in Germany and book the online classes with her.  I think you should start this classes after 2 months or so...but better ask your midwife. Before my first pregnancy with Erica, I was a great aerobics fan, three - four times a week. In this manner my back could handle all the heavy cameras and lenses I was caring, which I used to call back then "my babies&quo

Today we descovered one of the most beautiful playground in Berlin, really! Or I speak from Erica's reaction but also from what I have seen so far. We went initially to the Animal park at Hasenheide which they closed yesterday because of Corona and after I promised all the way in the car a playground, I was desperate to find one. I searched on map and it was this one in the middle of the park "1001 Nights Playground". It is really beautifully created/ designed and with a lot of climbing possibilities and for 2-3 years old toddlers. It's a bit far away from any entrance, or at least, this is how I felt carrying one baby and running after Erica, who was on her bycicle.  It keeps me fit but I have a terrible back pain in the same time. Tomorrow I start my regression classes / recover after giving birth ("rückbildungskurs" as it is called here). I feel I need it so badly.   

Tired and I could call myself lucky with two children, who sleep 11-12 hours per night Somehow, from first day after we came from hospital, after birth, I went to bed with Erica, mmy first child, between 7 and 8 pm. With Erica the ritual of going to sleep changed so many times. We were flexible... With Ava, we just follow Erica"s ritual:eating, bath, teeth brush, reading books, prayers, singing until she falls asleep...and Ava also much earlier. We are reading books went she is already sleeping, then it's time for Erica's joy. I can put Ava down and she can be in my arms, to be a little bit baby like Ava. 

When it is too stressful, girls are crying, agitated... My solution lately is to go out for fresh air half an hour, go to the playground and we return more relaxed all three of us.. 

There are hard days without kindergarten with two children, when I am just surviving and easier days... Sometimes it feels like it's piece of cake and you think " I can do this for another few days". But then then there are days, when all it starts with a big cry, like today... plus it's Sunday, plus I went to sleep late, plus I had a bad headache. But then  Somehow children - toddlers, they do feel, as if they have a sensor, of how much you can or can not anymore : ).  Anybody feels me?

  No kindergarten here... does anybody feel me? : ) I love my children so much but to be able to take care of them separately at least for a few hours, I find it healthy for them but for me as well. But it is how it is. Sometimes I think to myself it would have been easier if they were twins. At least they would have been at the same level with the growing. Here, one is crying - 3 months old, the other one is running  - 3 years old. Calm and catch the faster the one you can. However today was the hardest day for a long time now, and at one point I said "enough, I am exhausted but we go out, to take all of us three a big breath of "spring" weather (4 degrees)."   Once we were out, Ava slept on the scarf and Erica ran like she never ran before in her life and then she started to play very funny with the swings. in the back of our block of flats it is a playground totally simple. The attraction is the swing. And besides the normal way of swinging which has to be very f

We thought spring is here and we ordered  new shoes. We received them by post and we went out, to try them out. Then children feet grow so fast. One number in 3 months... Is just Erica? This shoes are Naturino (unpaid ad). I was counseled once by a manufacturer of children shoes, what to pay attention at when buying Erica's shoes.  The sole to be very flexible, to have straight lines, not curves, and to be done from natural materials, as everything goes into the child's skin. Naturino meets all these criteria. And this red also conquers our hearts and eyes.  Since Erica walks, we bought her only Vios (unpaid ad) . It is an Austrian brand who produce very good quality children shoes but something happened and I don't find them anymore on the online stores. Most probably Covid didn't help. instagram