my journey with children

This is Erica's big first haircut... She was so into putting her long hair into her mouth most of the times. The ends of her hair was almost all the time wet and.... in the end I asked her if she wants her hair shorter.  She said "yes, like Ava" (like her little sister). I don't think she would have liked that short. So I asked a few days in a road if the really would like that and she said yes! We went to the hair salon, she staid like a stone for 30 minutes while her hair was cut and then in the end she smiled and we laughed, when we went out. I think it was more me, who suffered after her long Mowgli hair. We went on with our day, we went to Wannsee, to sunbathe. Later in the evening, when we returned, after washing her hair, she looked long at her face and how she looks with this hairdo and she gave herself a kiss, sayig "I love you Erica".  I like from Louise Hay, the working with the mirror and I have done them with Erica since she exists. ...

  No kindergarten here... does anybody feel me? : ) I love my children so much but to be able to take care of them separately at least for a few hours, I find it healthy for them but for me as well. But it is how it is. Sometimes I think to myself it would have been easier if they were twins. At least they would have been at the same level with the growing. Here, one is crying - 3 months old, the other one is running  - 3 years old. Calm and catch the faster the one you can. However today was the hardest day for a long time now, and at one point I said "enough, I am exhausted but we go out, to take all of us three a big breath of "spring" weather (4 degrees)."   Once we were out, Ava slept on the scarf and Erica ran like she never ran before in her life and then she started to play very funny with the swings. in the back of our block of flats it is a playground totally simple. The attraction is the swing. And besides the normal way of swinging which has to be very f...

This pregnancy felt 10 times harder than first.   I remember I didn't feel great with my first child, Erica, as well but  I was able to handle most of the discomforts (nausea, headaches, pains) through rest. Just reading on my sofa, taking a nap from time to time during the day, or slowing everything down. Impossible all of these with Erica around now. She started also not to take naps in the afternoon, therefore no break. It's not only this, Erica's energy but the more belly grew, the more clingy she started to be. It feels she gets more and more scared, even though I try to reassure, to present everything with enthusiasm and with love how it will be with the baby inside the house. Most recently she started to say I am only and only hers, those two hands are hers, my head is hers, all of my body is hers. Plus she is a baby again, she wants to be hold in arms like a baby; a great regress she has, that sometimes blocks me.  I had some contractions and I wanted to lie ...