I never thought I would feel so strangely emotional about this day—the first day of school for Erica, my oldest daughter. It's a swirl of mixed feelings and emotions. For six years, you’ve struggled with a small child who cried because she didn’t want to go to kindergarten. She was sick countless times, and most of those times she was in your arms. And now, here she is—a school child. It’s not as though the days of sickness are behind us, but it feels like a different phase, as if she’s stepping into a new world, and you’re right there with her, stepping into it too. For years, you wished for the kids to grow, hoping it would get easier. But in this moment, I wished time would stop, and I wished she were little again. Yet it’s just a fleeting moment, and none of us can stop time. But what we can do is live better in the NOW and enjoy it more fully. I embrace this day with open arms—the newness and the unknown that’s ahead—and I’m happy about it! I’m excited to get to know the futu...
Today I started the day at 4 o'clock with a terrible migraine. No pain killer allowed at breastfeeding was functioning and it got worse. Erica woke up and started to demand her ritual. But I told her that today is an exception, mama is not well and we go silently in the kitchen, like this we leave Ava to sleep. We eat and go to living room, where we lay down on the sofa and she is allowed to watch cartoons. She wanted "Pettersson and Findus". When we got to the sofa, she told me to put my head on her legs and there I took the photo. She was very kind by telling me she is not happy I am not well but she is happy for the cartoons. These migraines are terrible... since puberty 14-15 years old. In my pregnancy with Erica they dissapered but with Ava I struggled with them for 9 months and it goes on... Who never had a migraine is hard to explain. I feel my whole body fights with this great pain for hours and when it gets better, I am just tired.
Today the midwife recommended me to put the hands inside the sleeping sack. In this way the child will sleep more peaceful and longer. Like this, if she sleeps, 2-3 hours, I can go out to playground with Erica or just to spend more time with her. She wants a lot to be in my arms, to be the baby.
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