babies all around

We have two babies in the house. The baby of mine, Ava, and Erica's baby

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School - First Day of School!

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 I never thought I would feel so strangely emotional about this day—the first day of school for Erica, my oldest daughter. It's a swirl of mixed feelings and emotions. For six years, you’ve struggled with a small child who cried because she didn’t want to go to kindergarten. She was sick countless times, and most of those times she was in your arms. And now, here she is—a school child. It’s not as though the days of sickness are behind us, but it feels like a different phase, as if she’s stepping into a new world, and you’re right there with her, stepping into it too. For years, you wished for the kids to grow, hoping it would get easier. But in this moment, I wished time would stop, and I wished she were little again. Yet it’s just a fleeting moment, and none of us can stop time. But what we can do is live better in the NOW and enjoy it more fully. I embrace this day with open arms—the newness and the unknown that’s ahead—and I’m happy about it! I’m excited to get to know the futu
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sleeping well

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Today the midwife recommended me to put the hands inside the sleeping sack. In this way the child will sleep more peaceful and longer.  Like this, if she sleeps, 2-3 hours, I can go out to playground with Erica or just to spend more time with her. She wants a lot to be in my arms, to be the baby. 
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out of a great chaos, a new life will come soon

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Expected the unexpected more the second time than the first time! I have never imagined myself a few years ago as a mother of two children. But here I am! I got pregnant for the second time in April 2020, in full lockdown in Berlin and in a full family crises. I already had a daughter of 2 years at that time, Erica. And I was finally happy back in my body, after breastfeeding her for 18 months.  Here I am 9 months later, after a long way. I feel this last year as being almost the hardest in my life. The pregnancy was 10 times more difficult than the firs one.  I have been walking for 10 minutes to the gynecologist check up and I felt like an elephant. I can hardly move, I feel huge, it's so hard to be in my body. It feels like it's not mine anymore. I am very grateful that I will have another baby but.... the little one took fully over my "normally" small body. I breath in and breath out and count the hours, the days, until I get my body back.  I will have another gir
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