screaming and crying... tantrums

 Erica, my first love...

She starts sometimes to scream and cry and in the same time also Ava. Then I collapse, I want to cry as well...and exactly like them.

Erica cries to be hold in arms especially when it's impossible, if I breastfeed or if Ava cries. I have two arms, I explain to Erica and I can hold you with one arm. One arm for her, one for Ava. But it's not enough she wants to be hold with two arms. So we starts to cry all three of us. 

I wish I lived in a tribe with all the family around me... so all the arms of my sisters and brother, and cousin...to be here for my girls.

I am tired, I put Ava down, I take Erica in my arms and start to tell her how much I love her, as much as an elephant, but Ava is small and she has also love as an elephant, so the hugs are divided in two. I empathies with her and I understand her so well. I hold her even harder in my arms and repeat all over again, love, elephant, Ava, small. I try to reassure her as many times as she needs until she comes down. I put her down and I take Ava, I kiss her, Erica kisses her and the crises moment is gone. 

Today she went on the bicycle but she liked to fall many times...

I guess with time will be easier and better, but for the moment it is not...



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